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Her cries could be heard at 3 AM
“Uncle, Uncle, Uncle”
She was just in the other room
I awoke to the crying, not knowing what the problem was
My niece was sitting on her mothers bed
Tears in her eyes
With her mothers back turned to her as she huddled closer to the other twin
I went over to the child crying
Her diapers were soaking
Her arms stretched out for me to lift her
To care for her
She needed me.
I took her to my room
And as I changed her diaper I noticed a rash
I did my best to clean her and tend to the rash
I let her lay on my bed to sleep
But she was demanding to sleep on my chest
She wanted to be close to her Uncle.
At 3:45 AM her mother comes banging on my door
“Give her back!” she yells
I open the door
I tell her no, you’re not looking after her
You’re ignoring her and she needed someone to care for her
Go back to your own room, she’s staying with me.
The next day I throw out most of my clothing
I’m starting a new chapter
All things gang related were thrown out
I was left with jeans and a dress shirt
I move my nieces bed into my room
I begin bible studies in my spare time
Eventually I had a congregation of 500 people
Theologists, specialists, novelists
You name it
In the mornings I would go over the alphabet and numbers
The ones that I wrote on paper and taped to my wall
Then we would go on youtube
Pausing on sight words so they could learn how to read
And recognize words most commonly used in books
We would walk to school holding hands
Pointing at signs and spelling them out
Their teachers thanked God I stepped into their lives
After school we would go to the park
then I’d take them home to make a snack and wash up.
We would sit on the couch watching sailormoon
sometimes until the evening came
Then I’d have to make dinner for them
Any money I received went towards them and their well being
Then one night as I was doing my bible study
I heard the chilling words whisper into my life
“Wiggle, Look up, Swallow, Blink”
Whenever I heard wiggle, my foot would wiggle
Whenever I heard look up I would stretch or literally look up
Then came the scenerio
A hostage situation
People were in the attic
People were shouting through my PC
“We’re going to kill you all” they said
The cocking of shotguns
The stomping of feet
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t shout
And everything everyone else did seem to resonate with what was going on in my mind
Then the family left
It was just me and my nieces and brother
I had enough of the tauntings
I picked myself up and walked to the attic
I stuck out my hand and said, “take me, I’m here!”
Nothing happened.
I went up to the attic
And found no one.
But as soon as I left the attic the taunting continued
I did what I thought was right
I called the police
Said we were being held against our own will
Police cars surrounded the house
I left carrying the twins
My brother left not knowing what was going on
They searched the home
And I was arrested
As they put the cuffs on me, my niece began to scream and cry
She didnt understand.. and to be honest niether did I
Taken to the hospital
But the radio they had, still had voices coming forth at me
They put me in the hospital
And it didn’t get any better
I would see images of angels fighting demons on the wall
Hands coming from the ground grabbing at my feet
More scenerios involving aliens and demons
Wanting to whisk me away
But eventually the medicine they gave took care of the voices
I was free for a moment
For 4 years I sacrificed having nothing
In order to take care of my nieces
I spent nothing on myself
Only the dress shirt and jeans
After 5 weeks in the hospital they said I was ready to go home
I call home
And was told, “You can’t come back”
It stung.
I was now homeless, broke and without clothes
Who knew that I had schizophrenia?
I went to a half way house
14 days to secure a place and get social assistance
I managed to do just that
During the winter I had no shoes
I was in flip flops
I would go to my appointments in the snow
And people would stare
I managed to get a place and be put on assistance
After a few weeks I got a job
The job started to ask me to do over time
Then I would do triple time
One day after doing a triple I put my head to rest
A dead body shown itself
Not again.
I went to listen to some Gospel music
but the voices amplified
I was renting a room at the time
Someone had my brother in the basement
Crying for me
with a gun pointed to his head
I told myself its not real
This is not real
I drop to my knees
Crying and panicking
myeyes turned blood shot red
I had to escape this nightmare
I left
The voices followed
I was on a street corner
A lady saw me in tears
She called the police
They picked me up
Saw my record of having schizophrenia
Brought me back to the hospital
to be continued.