Me: I remember this place, this courtroom. When I was in the hospital I could feel this place and visualize it based upon emotion. This was heavens courtroom.
God: “How do you plead?”
Demons: “He’s guilty! Give him to us!”
Me: I look around the courtroom. The stands are divided. On one side are the heavenly judges and on the other are the demonic forces which plagued my sanity. I turn behind me and see family, friends and ex lovers. They are quiet for now.
Demons: “Show the courts his crimes!”
Me: And like a slide show in a whirl wind all my sins surface. Thoughts, emotions all those things which kept secret…come to light.
God: “There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. There is nothing kept secret that will not come to light. “
Demons: “Guilty! Guilty!”
Friends and family: “oh my God! What is this!? How could you?!”
Me: I say nothing. Then a darkness begins to surface over my soul and to my awareness Satan himself had begun to smile.
God: “How do you plead”
Me: I say nothing. I keep my head down low. Friends and family and ex lovers begin to shed tears and move away in a distance. “We trusted you” they say among many other broken terms.
Demons: “Show us their crimes”
Me: They begin to show the crimes of family, friends and ex lovers. Their thoughts and emotions and deeds against me and one another.
Ex lover: “oops”
Demon: “Send them all to us! Guilty”
Me: I’m so eager I cry out, “No! Let me go to the dark abyss alone. Let me suffer the consequences. Please father let them go into heaven. What they’ve thought, felt or even done against me.. it doesn’t matter just save them!”
God: “But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. “
Demons: “Send them all to us”
Me: I notice the smile of Satan. He is beginning to laugh. I want to run over to the abyss in order to save my family, friends and even ex lovers. But then a thought occurs..it could only be from God…that I couldn’t decide the fate for us all.
Satan: “Let him come to the abyss!”
Friends and family: “No! He forgave us so we forgive him.. if he goes then we-
Me: “Stop!” I shout…”Don’t say another word.”
God: “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven”
Me: I understand it now. It’s not just a scripture intended for others.. but also for yourself. Forgive and leave judgment to God..Satan has stopped smiling..his grin is gone. I turn back to face God and before I face low before him I saw the awe struck look of family, friends and ex lovers.
God: “How do you plead”
Me: “I-I was just acting like a foolish child my God”
God: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
Me: Satan had vanished alongside the demons. God was smiling..”I-I need to repent” I say.. “And learn to turn from my wicked ways.”
God: “Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;”
Me: God smiles.. and I awake from a dream..or was it… a dream?